• Thaddeus Botgore

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone for being here today. I imagine it wasn’t easy to get sitters and transportation this far out this last notice. Have solace that the trip was well worth it for today….” He grabbed the cloth revealing a white egg-shaped pod. “Today, we make history!”  

The room filled with silence followed by a roaring applause. 

With hands raised to his chest “Please, please. Let me explain.” Clicking the converter in his hand the screen flickered to a new image revealing a timeline of a monkey evolving to modern man. 

“Evolution.” He clicked it again. The image stuttered until it changed to a rock. “The first technology. Our ancestors didn’t know it at the time but this little piece of hardened mineral would lead to the future.” *Click.*

“Fossil fuels,” *click* “The Industrial Revolution.” 

*Click*

*click, click, click, click* He looked off stage. “Jenny? a little help?” A chubby woman with a tight fitting t-shirt with “The Pod” written on the front ran to the stage, back facing the audience. She whispered something in his ear and handed him a new remote.

He nodded as she continued to whisper, taking a moment to assure the audience. 

“Just a small technical error. The road to progress is a bumpy one.” The woman ran off stage and he continued. *Click* The image changed to the monkey evolving into man except now, after man, was the pod.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our next stage of evolution.” The room filled with a roaring applause. “Please, let me explain. The pod is a modern technology that reads your vitals in real time with up to 99.9% accuracy.” He looked to the side of the stage against “Jenny? If you may?” Jenny walked out again this time waving to the audience like a magician’s sidekick. “Jennifer, our lead engineer will now display how quickly The Egg works. He hugged her tightly and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and placed a hand on The Egg awakening gears causing the top to raise gently. She awkwardly crawled in and with hands crossed over her chest the lid slowly closed. On the screen flicked her vitals. Heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen and CO2 levels.

“Now what you may see may be alarming at first but understand, evolution comes at a cost.” He gently tapped the machine and it let out a small hiss. “What you don’t see is The Egg is producing a cocktail of a morphine derivative combined with a gas called [2-(Diisopropylamino)ethyl]-O-ethyl methylphosphonothioate but we call it “VX” for short.” As the hissing continued her vitals slowly crept to a halt. Her body twitched inside the egg clawing at the window trying to escape. The audience let out an audible gasp. 

“Now I know this may seem alarming but let me assure you, she has long since passed and what you’re witnessing is simply the nervous system shutting down. He turned around to the big screen “Jenny?” Suddenly a voice came on the screen shown as a sound wave. “Hi Daniel.” “How are you fe” he was cut off. “I’m feeling great. It was completely painless” 

He continued “That’s great to hear and h” she cut him off again “Oh, you’re so funny, I don’t know how it looked from your perspective but it didn’t hurt one bit.” Trying to lead the conversation he asked “and how lon”

She cut him off again. “That’s another thing..”

He looked center stage behind the audience. “Cut it off! KILL IT!” She was cut off mid sentence and the screen went black. 

“Sorry. She’s fine. Just a minor technical error.” 

The Pod is the next link in our evolution, transferring our consciousness from this reality to the next. Using nerve gas we are able to gently paralyze the body while the consciousness transfers to our servers where you can live without aging, or losing loved ones ever again. The chemical signals in your body will be used as a battery of sorts to run the severs creating an infinite supply of power forever. We have a breeding program for future generations already in place. Using artificial insemination, we are able to track the birthing process of the unconscious bodies in the pod farming people to make more power for the pod. I know this may be alarming, those of you in the back trying to escape may ask you to please sit down. The doors have been welded shut for over an hour now. At this point the nerve gas has been evenly distributed throughout the auditorium and our bodies should be shutting down shortly. Fear not, we have people to transfer you to the eggs safely.”

Suddenly hoards of men in white biohazard suits rushed in standing by every member of the audience towering over their weakening bodies. Some collapsed while others watched in horror as others clawed at the door trying to escape. “Please, please. Don’t fight the gas. We will all be transferred to the servers soon” With one hand extended to the sky he waved to the audience and said “I will see you all shortly on the other side of the egg.”

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